Tuesday, January 10, 2017

When you ask a writer to sum up his book in under a hundred words

Friday, February 14, 2014

An excerpt from my new book. The anti-war book... so it goes

My new novel, titled The Thirteen Lives of a Television Repairman, will be out soon, and I wanted to get a bit of it out into the public, in order that it might marinate a bit.
Here are some things which you will not know without reading the earlier chapters of the book, as this scene comes late in the book, but is not impacting to the storyline in any major way.

ARG stands for Alternate Reality Generator. It shows you all possibilities throughout time.
The narrator is the man who created the ARG. 
The entire story is told from the perspective of this man who sits in an underground nuclear fallout shelter after his ARG device has caused the nuclear holocaust. When it comes to use in his bunker after the bombs go off, it shows the protagonist all of the possibilities that can no longer be, because the world has been destroyed, and the one fate that the world shall have in a million and a half years. 
This is the only scene in the book which touches upon the giant nosed people and is only in there for satire and anti-war sentiment.
Enjoy---

***
     Now the machine doesn’t show me the future The future doesn’t exist any longer, not for humans. Instead, the ARG shows me two things: futures that could’ve been, futures from the past, and sometimes it shows show me a future that will happen in a million and a half years, after a new life has evolved.
***
     This future is filled with strange creatures that have no money, nor any need for it, they have no bills, because they get what they need form the planet. There is no such thing as rent, or a mortgage, because no one owns anything. Why would they? They didn’t create the earth with divine purpose or mastery of the universe. There is also no need for money because these creatures, which have replaced us as the dominant form of life on planet Earth, have no eyes. They evolved this way because of the radiation, maybe, but also because they thought it best when evolving, to refrain from looking at things covetously, so they killed their eyes. That’s one way to do it.
     They also have no ears, so they cannot argue over music, or politics, or improper language.
     They do have an exquisite sense of touch, which, incidentally, is exquisite only because it doesn’t tell them if something feels bad or good, but only that it’s there. Much like they themselves, the deaf dumb and blind creatures… they are neither good nor bad, they simply are. They eat and shit, and reproduce asexually, so there is no jealousy or infidelity and so on. They do not understand religion, because they haven’t any need for it.
     Their main sense, where ours is vision, is smell. They have tremendously big noses. They conduct nearly all of their business by smell. The part of their brain that interprets olfactory is very large indeed, and is directly linked to the part of the brain that deals in pleasure. There is no part of their brain that deals in pain. If one dies, they simply die, and are happy up until the point when the do. And why not? After all, they are perfectly fine as far as they can tell. And the part which deals in memory is very limited. So where a smell might remind you and I of a person, place, or a thing, a smell simply reminds them of the last time the smelled that smell.  They never get sad or lonely, because they need nothing they don’t have.
     The only eat one thing: gardenias. And they have no natural predators, because they and the gardenias are the only remaining life forms on Earth. They eat the gardenias, and secrete the seeds and manure two days later. They use their fantastic sense of smell to guide them to fresh gardenias to eat, and then to depleted areas to void their waste. They never spread manure where they eat, or sleep. They circle and circle year after year, but they aren’t aware of this. The simply smell food, and go eat it, then smell where food should be, but isn’t, and go shit there.
     They sleep somewhere in the middle.
     They’re quite perfect.
     Incidentally, though, they do make a great deal of noise, braying like a pack of old women at a bingo hall, and are absurdly gassy, which could also be represented at bingo. They don’t notice any of this and aren’t offended, because they haven’t the faculties to notice, other than the obscene smell. But they don’t think its obscene at all, in fact, in their brains doesn’t exist anything to represent negativity at all, and all smells are pleasant and bring them exquisite joy, and the only indication of how pleasant something is, is how strong or pungent a particular aroma is. They can tell the difference in one odor or the next one—or else how could they find the gardenias?—but have no preference, unless its meal time or time to void. Other than that, they fill their lives sucking the odors of farts and seawater and dirt and gardenias and lack of gardenias and so on into their enormous bulbous noses.
     You and I would think this world to be perfect and beautiful, with all the gardenias and with the giant walking noses on small furry feet, and we would like very much to live there in peace. But inevitably, we will become offended by all the noise and the smells and the carelessness with which the giant noses rubbed up against us blindly, and sneezed gardenia pollen all over our legs and feet, and we would become so offended that we would insist on carving out a patch just for us.
     Eventually, That patch would become somehow smaller and no longer suitable to our needs, and we would need more land, where we would trample and kill more gardenias and more of the little big-nose people. And then it would all go to pot.
That’s what we do. We covet something, then we take offense to it, and we steal and kill and take and take and take. That’s certainly one way to do it.

Please subscribe to my new blog (Click Here), for the works released under the name M.D. Thalmann, for further updates on this work, which is satirical and a bit more suited to some. I still have future works for Dirk Knight scheduled, and will finish up The Girls here pretty soon, but in the mean time, keep reading.

M.D. Thalmann

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

M.D. Thalmann's February publications

For those of you who are unaware, Dirk Knight is not my real name. Aside from writing horror and thrillers under the name Dirk Knight, I write Science Fiction and Satire under my real name, Michael Dirk (M.D.) Thalmann I also work for a handful of local magazines doing freelance, and I have a syndicated local column.

For those interested in subscribing to my official M.D. Thalmann website as well, you may do so here: www.mdthalmann.com . There will be a lot of writing coming from that site in the near future.

Here are links to my magazine work from this month:

85086 Magazine February Cover Story.
North Valley Magazine Valentine's Day Survival Guide and East Valley Magazine Valentine's Day Survival Guide. (Syndicated Column)



Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Hardcover now available

Just a quick FYI - I have agreed to have Lulu Press do the hardcover for Dimly, Through Glass.

It will soon be available in multiple stores online, but for now It's only available at Lulu, but with a 10% discount to help cover shipping or whatnot.

I hope you will pick up a copy, or at least tell a friend.

http://www.lulu.com/shop/dirk-knight/dimly-through-glass/hardcover/product-21422709.html



Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Jayden's Revenge Audiobook Available Today

My uncut version of Jayden's Revenge is now available in audio format for about $7.00. It's an hour and fifteen minutes and is performed by Aiden Fishbein, local actor and cinematographer.

This version of the story is quite a bit different from my original published novella and includes deleted scenes and a lot more explanation of Philip's role in the family.

You can preview the book with a short audio sample by following the links below.

  Available in Audiobook format on Amazon,  Audible and iTunes 


As a bonus, you can also hear the audition tape for my novel, Dimly, Through Glass, HERE. 
It may be necessary to request the desktop site from your mobile browser's options in order to hear the audio. I have a Samsung Galaxy, and had to... not sure about other devices. 

Friday, November 8, 2013

Phoenix Area Book Signing Event -- Dimly, Through Glass

Hello readers,

I have sent out a few different methods of communication thus far regarding a book signing I have coming in a week. If you have already RSVP'd on Facebook or via E-Vite, please disregard.

If not, and you plan to attend, please RSVP by emailing events@dirkknight.com .
This will just help us get a better understanding of how to staff and stock the event.

Half Price Books in Paradise Valley has been kind enough to lend me the space to set up and offer copies of my new novel, Dimly, Through Glass, on Saturday November 16th.

The even will start promptly at 2:00 pm and will last until  4:00 pm.
4322 E Cactus Rd, Phoenix, Arizona 85032
Click for Directions



Again, you can RSVP to hold a copy by emailing the address above.

I look forward to seeing you there. Anyone subscribed to this newsletter is a valuable part of why I do what I do.

If you aren't able to make it, or if you want to purchase a copy in advance, you may order a paperback online (click here) and bring it to the event. I will sign anything that I have written, regardless of where the original purchase was made.

 Dimly, Through Glass is my first published novel. It is a very dark tale of a haunted man. He is entirely unlovable and I will show you why. This story is not for the fainthearted.

Dennis Foster is not too different from you and me, other than his inability to say no to those little synaptic flashes that catch in his brain. Dennis’s switch has been flipped. We all have the same hardware, all with short circuits in the wiring, but he isn’t able to kill the engine. Mr. Foster acts upon impulses we have all had—and many we haven’t. For Dennis sees himself only dimly, as though reflected only in part, and will come to know himself clearly, face to face with the venomous monstrosity truly shining back in the glass.
Dennis is driven by a sense of inadequacy and self-loathing, instilled in him first by his mother, and then by his failures with every woman who has tried to replace her. Though he has been given an opportunity to reclaim the masculinity, and control he relinquished so long ago, his troubled past and incomprehensible urges, buried and hidden for years, will boil over into a homicidal frenzy when he is forced to kill a man in self-defense. His carefully crafted façade will decay, leaving only the vulnerable truth. We are going to follow his descent and decomposing mental state, and trace the dark pathways that lead to the root causes of evil.
The good guy (every story needs one), though another dark character, is a virtuous rogue who has used his dangerous past to impel him towards the light. He is driven forward by the memories of the woman he loved, who was always too good for him, and his best friend from Operation Iraqi Freedom, both of whom he watched die.
Will good triumph over evil as so often happens in the movies, or will the demented, disjointed maniac fulfill his imagined destiny and shatter the innocence of his victims?


Thanks for your support and, as always, Keep Reading!




Friday, October 25, 2013

A full list of locations where you can pick up a copy of Dimly, Through Glass

 Dimly Through Glass is my latest novel. It is a very dark tale of a haunted man. He is entirely unlovable and I will show you why. This story is not for the fainthearted.

Dennis Foster is not too different from you and me, other than his inability to say no to those little synaptic flashes that catch in his brain. Dennis’s switch has been flipped. We all have the same hardware, all with short circuits in the wiring, but he isn’t able to kill the engine. Mr. Foster acts upon impulses we have all had—and many we haven’t. For Dennis sees himself only dimly, as though reflected only in part, and will come to know himself clearly, face to face with the venomous monstrosity truly shining back in the glass.
Dennis is driven by a sense of inadequacy and self-loathing, instilled in him first by his mother, and then by his failures with every woman who has tried to replace her. Though he has been given an opportunity to reclaim the masculinity, and control he relinquished so long ago, his troubled past and incomprehensible urges, buried and hidden for years, will boil over into a homicidal frenzy when he is forced to kill a man in self-defense. His carefully crafted façade will decay, leaving only the vulnerable truth. We are going to follow his descent and decomposing mental state, and trace the dark pathways that lead to the root causes of evil.
The good guy (every story needs one), though another dark character, is a virtuous rogue who has used his dangerous past to impel him towards the light. He is driven forward by the memories of the woman he loved, who was always too good for him, and his best friend from Operation Iraqi Freedom, both of whom he watched die.
Will good triumph over evil as so often happens in the movies, or will the demented, disjointed maniac fulfill his imagined destiny and shatter the innocence of his victims?



Pick up a copy at the following Phoenix area locations:


Samurai Comics

Jessee James Comics

Half Price Books - Paradise Valley

Or online at:


Amazon and Barnes & Noble